The title has warned me.
But I have not understood that “chilling” meant “horrid” and not “scaring”.
Well, yes, through today’s review I am going to explain why the reboot of the amazing “Sabrina, the teenage witch” is making me reconsider Élite, that, despite the big problems about thematics, at least has a story that entertains, that convinces you – more or less – to watch the next episode, a story that does not bore you.
“Chilling adventures of Sabrina” is a TV show, just released by Netflix, that is supposed to be the horror reboot of the adventures of our beloved little witch.
It consists of just 10 episodes, but, I tell you right now, I did not succeed watching the last three.
I could have, true, but, ending the seventh episode, I just thought I did not want to waste other 3 hours of my life this way.
Yes, three hours, you read right. Because one of the biggest defect is the length of the episodes.
One hour per episode is too much for a show of this kind.
To be honest, shows that can afford episodes of this duration are very few, and they are show such as Peaky Blinders, not this one.
In my opinion, this length precisely is the reason why the narration is slow and, let’s admit it, boring.
The story is a succession of scenes and dialogues that seem to be random, empty, with slow motion scenes to turn doramas envious, with missing explanations, filler scenes (or even episodes) we would rather have never seen, blasphemy at all costs and plenty more.
The plot is a piling up of clichés that, without the light and fun touch which used to be Sabrina’s signature, clashes with the dark and horror genre the authors try to propose us. Maybe I expected too much, but I would never imagine that they would be able to ruin characters such us Sabrina’s aunts or SALEM. THEY RUINED MY BELOVED CAT. HOW COULD THEY?
About the aunts, I will not go into details, but I got to say that they made Zelda a sadistic who loves killing and mistreating Hilda and Hilda just a spineless woman, dominated by Zelda’s violence.
Moreover, the other characters are very “forgettable”, from Sabrina’s boyfriend to her friends, from her enemies to the beautiful wizard who hits on her and so on. Even Sabrina (Kiernan Shipka) herself under many points of views is nothing compared to the “real” Sabrina, but, overall, I’d say she is the only character enough faithful to the original.
Anyway, paradoxically, the character I preferred is Sabrina’s cousin, Ambrose (Chance Perdomo), that, if I remember correctly, is not in Sabrina, the teenage witch (I do not know about the comics, I have not read them).
Then, I was perplexed by the “feminism at all costs”, feature I noticed in the reboot Charmed too (reboot I hope to talk you about very soon).
Making Sabrina a “feminist activist” is a choice I can understand and approve for many reasons, but the way they show feminism is, in my opinion, wrong. In the sense that it is exaggerated, for any little stupid thing starts a feminists fight, even when feminism has nothing to do about. Moreover, it makes me laugh – not positively, let’s be clear – that, to highlight how feminist every single female character is, most of male characters are sexist and, often, racist and homophobic.
To conclude, let’s talk about the technical part.
Photography (overlooking an effect they abuse of, especially in the first episodes), direction and even acting are quite good. The technical level is high, there are dark/horror features and you can “feel” them. Even the music is good.
The problem, as happens more often than I want, is the script.
You can notice the effect I was talking about on the sides of the image.
I did not say the plot precisely because of this.
The plot basically is that Sabrina wants to be both a witch and a human but Satan does not accept it and starts a fight between the two that will bring the characters around Sabrina to pick a side. Everything spiced with Sabrina’s attempts to maintain a balance between her two lives, preventing her friends to find out about her magical nature.
But, I repeat, the way the narration is built, the dialogues on which it is based, the actions, the choices of Sabrina, Lucifer’s attacks… Everything is stereotyped, banal and predictable. And, when it is not, it is usually still quite boring or, if you are so lucky it makes you feel something, it causes a little of disgust (which would be fine for a horror).
Therefore, I strongly discourage the view of this show, you can sincerely spend way better ten hours of your lives.
See you soon!
IL CAPPUCCINO 